I think I won the penis lottery.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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