he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
