Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
