i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
