The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
