it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
