He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
