last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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