she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
