Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
