He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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