Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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