Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
