I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
