adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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