apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
