He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
