He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
