i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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