if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
