i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
