Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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