dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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