I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
