All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Screwed.edu
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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