i always forget guys have bellybuttons
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
