Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
