I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
