Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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