Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Two words: blizzard sex
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
