margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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