i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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