the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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