i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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