It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
