I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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