none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
