he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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