So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
