Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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