the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
