Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
