I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
