last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
