So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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