I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
