is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
