I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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