I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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