k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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